Defined Dogs Collection

11 products

11 products

Buy Now
Furricane Dog Wall Art Print
Scoff Paper
£14.00
Buy Now
Cuddlivore Dog Wall Art Print
Scoff Paper
£14.00
Buy Now
Bluffweiler Dog Wall Art Print
Scoff Paper
£14.00
Buy Now
Mountweiler Dog Wall Art Print
Scoff Paper
£14.00
Buy Now
Chewcifer Dog Wall Art Print
Scoff Paper
£14.00
Buy Now
Followhound Dog Wall Art Print
Scoff Paper
£14.00
Buy Now
Yawnarchist Dog Wall Art Print
Scoff Paper
£14.00
Buy Now
Mufflegust Dog Wall Art Print
Scoff Paper
£14.00
Buy Now
Yapoleon Dog Wall Art Print
Scoff Paper
£14.00
Buy Now
Bedspreadian Dog Wall Art Print
Scoff Paper
£14.00
Buy Now
Slobbernaut Dog Wall Art Print
Scoff Paper
£14.00

Funny dog wall prints made for real dog owners.

The Defined Dogs collection turns painfully accurate dog behaviour into giftable humour. Perfect for dog lovers, pet households and anyone shopping for a funny dog-themed gift that actually feels personal.

Each design defines agonisingly relatable dog habits into stylisy wall prints — celebrating everything from slobber and shedding to shadow-following, duvet theft and dramatic yawning. If you’ve ever looked at your dog and thought “this behaviour deserves a name”, you’re in the right place.

These prints make brilliant gifts for dog lovers because they feel personal without needing customisation. Whether you’re shopping for a Labrador owner, a small dog household, a serial shedder, or someone who hasn’t been alone since buying a puppy, there’s almost certainly a definition here that fits their dog far too well.

Perfect for:

  • Birthday gifts for dog owners

  • Housewarming presents for pet homes

  • Christmas gifts for people obsessed with their dog

  • “Saw this and thought of you” surprises

  • Treats for yourself (because you deserve it)

Designed to work beautifully as standalone pieces or grouped together as a gallery wall, these prints add humour and personality to kitchens, hallways, offices and anywhere dogs already believe they are in charge.

If you’re looking for dog-themed gifts that aren’t generic, sentimental or covered in paw prints, this collection exists to solve that problem.

Browse the definitions. Find “their” dog. Try not to laugh too loudly.

Each print can also be made as an edible dog card. 

Furricane Dog Wall Art Print
Scoff Paper

Furricane Dog Wall Art Print

£14.00
/
Tax included. Shipping calculated at checkout.

Furricane – The Ideal Gift For Homes Permanently Covered In Fur

This wall print celebrates the legendary fur producers — the ones who manage to coat sofas, clothes and freshly cleaned surfaces within minutes of brushing. If you’ve ever vacuumed and immediately questioned why you bothered, this one will feel painfully familiar.

If you’re buying for someone whose house contains more dog hair than dog, this makes a gift that lands instantly.

Perfect for:

  • Owners of shedding breeds

  • People who buy lint rollers in bulk

  • Homes where black clothing is a bold choice

  • Birthdays, Christmas and “this is your life now” gifts

Designed to sit comfortably in living rooms, hallways, offices or anywhere fur tends to accumulate without permission.

Part of the Defined Dogs collection — a series of humour prints documenting the fluffy chaos of living with dogs.

Warning: may cause the owner to immediately point out visible dog hair in the room.

 

Crunchy facts about our edible cards

Ever wondered what makes a Scoff Paper card safe for dogs to munch? Spoiler: it’s not glitter or glue. Our edible dog cards are made mostly from good old potatoes, with a splash of water, natural vegan flavourings, and a drizzle of sunflower oil. That’s it. No rawhide, no nasties — just a light, crunchy treat disguised as a greeting card.

🥔 Ingredients

  • 🥔 85% potato starch (about a fifth of a spud in every card)

  • 💧 A splash of water

  • 🌈 Food-safe vegan colourings

  • 🌱 Plant-based natural flavourings (vegan)

  • 🌻 A drizzle of sunflower oil

📊 Nutritional Bits

  • 🌱 100% vegan-friendly

  • 🚫 Gluten-free

  • 🚫 Grain-free

  • 🚫 Wheat-free

  • 🚫 Rawhide-free (because rawhide is rubbish)

That’s the science bit done — let’s get back to the scoffing.

 

📦 UK Deliveries
All Scoff Paper website orders are shipped with Royal Mail.

⏱️ We aim to get your order to you within 3–5 working days, but please note delays may occur during busy times such as Christmas.

📅 Please note: We only process orders Monday to Friday.

🐕 Every Scoff Paper card is proudly made in the UK and carefully packaged before posting, so it reaches you fresh and ready for your four-legged friend to enjoy.


Cuddlivore Dog Wall Art Print
Scoff Paper

Cuddlivore Dog Wall Art Print

£14.00
/
Tax included. Shipping calculated at checkout.

Cuddlivore – The Perfect Gift For Dogs Who Believe Personal Space Is Optional

This wall print celebrates the relentlessly loving canine who insists on maximum contact at all times — ideally sitting on you, leaning into you, or attempting to climb inside your jumper.

If you’re buying for someone whose dog treats cuddling like a competitive sport, this gift will feel immediately accurate.

Perfect for:

  • Owners of overly affectionate dogs

  • People who can’t sit down without company

  • Dog lovers who complain while secretly loving it

  • Birthdays, housewarmings, and “this is absolutely your dog” gifts

Designed to sit comfortably in bedrooms, living rooms, offices or anywhere the dog already believes belongs to them.

Part of the Defined Dogs collection — a series of humour prints celebrating the chaotic, clingy, love-filled reality of living with dogs.

Warning: may result in the owner immediately being climbed on while reading it.

 

Crunchy facts about our edible cards

Ever wondered what makes a Scoff Paper card safe for dogs to munch? Spoiler: it’s not glitter or glue. Our edible dog cards are made mostly from good old potatoes, with a splash of water, natural vegan flavourings, and a drizzle of sunflower oil. That’s it. No rawhide, no nasties — just a light, crunchy treat disguised as a greeting card.

🥔 Ingredients

  • 🥔 85% potato starch (about a fifth of a spud in every card)

  • 💧 A splash of water

  • 🌈 Food-safe vegan colourings

  • 🌱 Plant-based natural flavourings (vegan)

  • 🌻 A drizzle of sunflower oil

📊 Nutritional Bits

  • 🌱 100% vegan-friendly

  • 🚫 Gluten-free

  • 🚫 Grain-free

  • 🚫 Wheat-free

  • 🚫 Rawhide-free (because rawhide is rubbish)

That’s the science bit done — let’s get back to the scoffing.

 

📦 UK Deliveries
All Scoff Paper website orders are shipped with Royal Mail.

⏱️ We aim to get your order to you within 3–5 working days, but please note delays may occur during busy times such as Christmas.

📅 Please note: We only process orders Monday to Friday.

🐕 Every Scoff Paper card is proudly made in the UK and carefully packaged before posting, so it reaches you fresh and ready for your four-legged friend to enjoy.


Bluffweiler Dog Wall Art Print
Scoff Paper

Bluffweiler Dog Wall Art Print

£14.00
/
Tax included. Shipping calculated at checkout.

Bluffweiler – The Perfect Gift For Dogs With Big Mouths And Small Plans

Some dogs bark.
Others deliver full-scale verbal threats while making absolutely no effort to back them up.

Bluffweiler is for those dogs.

This wall print celebrates the bold, loud, dramatically confident canine who issues grand warnings to dogs three times their size… then immediately checks if you’re still holding the lead.

If you’re buying for someone who owns a small-to-medium dog with the attitude of a lion and the physical commitment of a field mouse, this gift will land instantly.

Ideal for:

  • Owners of noisy “don’t worry, he won’t actually do anything” dogs

  • Small dogs with big energy

  • People whose neighbours know their dog by sound alone

  • Birthdays, housewarmings and gifts that say “this is painfully accurate”

Designed to raise laughs without dominating a room, this print works brilliantly in hallways, offices, kitchens and anywhere visitors might witness the behaviour in real time.

Part of the Defined Dogs collection — a series of humour prints dedicated to the wonderfully delusional reality of living with dogs.

Warning: once displayed, the owner may feel compelled to demonstrate exactly how accurate it is.

 

Crunchy facts about our edible cards

Ever wondered what makes a Scoff Paper card safe for dogs to munch? Spoiler: it’s not glitter or glue. Our edible dog cards are made mostly from good old potatoes, with a splash of water, natural vegan flavourings, and a drizzle of sunflower oil. That’s it. No rawhide, no nasties — just a light, crunchy treat disguised as a greeting card.

🥔 Ingredients

  • 🥔 85% potato starch (about a fifth of a spud in every card)

  • 💧 A splash of water

  • 🌈 Food-safe vegan colourings

  • 🌱 Plant-based natural flavourings (vegan)

  • 🌻 A drizzle of sunflower oil

📊 Nutritional Bits

  • 🌱 100% vegan-friendly

  • 🚫 Gluten-free

  • 🚫 Grain-free

  • 🚫 Wheat-free

  • 🚫 Rawhide-free (because rawhide is rubbish)

That’s the science bit done — let’s get back to the scoffing.

 

📦 UK Deliveries
All Scoff Paper website orders are shipped with Royal Mail.

⏱️ We aim to get your order to you within 3–5 working days, but please note delays may occur during busy times such as Christmas.

📅 Please note: We only process orders Monday to Friday.

🐕 Every Scoff Paper card is proudly made in the UK and carefully packaged before posting, so it reaches you fresh and ready for your four-legged friend to enjoy.


Mountweiler Dog Wall Art Print
Scoff Paper

Mountweiler Dog Wall Art Print

£14.00
/
Tax included. Shipping calculated at checkout.

Mountweiler – The Ideal Gift For Dogs Who love to Hump

This wall print celebrates the canine with a talent for turning everyday objects into inappropriate climbing equipment. Cushions, blankets, visiting relatives — nothing is truly safe from their humping antics.

If you’re buying for someone who has ever said “sorry, he does this when he’s excited” while dragging their dog away mid-performance, this gift will feel uncomfortably accurate.

Perfect for:

  • Owners of overly enthusiastic dogs

  • People who tend to host upset guests

  • Homes where cushions have seen too much

  • Birthdays, housewarmings, and “I couldn’t not buy this for you” gifts

Designed to raise laughs without being visually loud, this print works well in living rooms, offices, hallways and anywhere the behaviour has previously occurred.

Part of the Defined Dogs collection — a series of humour prints documenting the socially awkward realities of loving dogs.

Warning: may cause the owner to immediately defend their dog’s character.

 

Crunchy facts about our edible cards

Ever wondered what makes a Scoff Paper card safe for dogs to munch? Spoiler: it’s not glitter or glue. Our edible dog cards are made mostly from good old potatoes, with a splash of water, natural vegan flavourings, and a drizzle of sunflower oil. That’s it. No rawhide, no nasties — just a light, crunchy treat disguised as a greeting card.

🥔 Ingredients

  • 🥔 85% potato starch (about a fifth of a spud in every card)

  • 💧 A splash of water

  • 🌈 Food-safe vegan colourings

  • 🌱 Plant-based natural flavourings (vegan)

  • 🌻 A drizzle of sunflower oil

📊 Nutritional Bits

  • 🌱 100% vegan-friendly

  • 🚫 Gluten-free

  • 🚫 Grain-free

  • 🚫 Wheat-free

  • 🚫 Rawhide-free (because rawhide is rubbish)

That’s the science bit done — let’s get back to the scoffing.

 

📦 UK Deliveries
All Scoff Paper website orders are shipped with Royal Mail.

⏱️ We aim to get your order to you within 3–5 working days, but please note delays may occur during busy times such as Christmas.

📅 Please note: We only process orders Monday to Friday.

🐕 Every Scoff Paper card is proudly made in the UK and carefully packaged before posting, so it reaches you fresh and ready for your four-legged friend to enjoy.


Chewcifer Dog Wall Art Print
Scoff Paper

Chewcifer Dog Wall Art Print

£14.00
/
Tax included. Shipping calculated at checkout.

Chewcifer – The Ideal Gift For Dogs Who Treat Toys As Mortal Enemies

This wall print celebrates the canine demolition expert — the one who identifies structural weaknesses in “indestructible” toys within seconds and leaves behind small, tragic piles of stuffing.

If you’re buying for someone who has ever confidently said “this one should last a while” before watching it die immediately, this gift will feel painfully familiar.

Perfect for:

  • New dog owners learning expensive lessons

  • Power chewers and professional destroyers

  • People with baskets full of half-toys

  • Birthdays, housewarmings, and sympathy gifts for traumatised pet parents

Designed to work in living rooms, offices, kitchens or anywhere toy casualties are frequently discovered.

Part of the Defined Dogs collection — a series of humour prints documenting the daily emotional damage of loving a dog.

Warning: may encourage the owner to show you photos of the destruction.

 

Crunchy facts about our edible cards

Ever wondered what makes a Scoff Paper card safe for dogs to munch? Spoiler: it’s not glitter or glue. Our edible dog cards are made mostly from good old potatoes, with a splash of water, natural vegan flavourings, and a drizzle of sunflower oil. That’s it. No rawhide, no nasties — just a light, crunchy treat disguised as a greeting card.

🥔 Ingredients

  • 🥔 85% potato starch (about a fifth of a spud in every card)

  • 💧 A splash of water

  • 🌈 Food-safe vegan colourings

  • 🌱 Plant-based natural flavourings (vegan)

  • 🌻 A drizzle of sunflower oil

📊 Nutritional Bits

  • 🌱 100% vegan-friendly

  • 🚫 Gluten-free

  • 🚫 Grain-free

  • 🚫 Wheat-free

  • 🚫 Rawhide-free (because rawhide is rubbish)

That’s the science bit done — let’s get back to the scoffing.

 

📦 UK Deliveries
All Scoff Paper website orders are shipped with Royal Mail.

⏱️ We aim to get your order to you within 3–5 working days, but please note delays may occur during busy times such as Christmas.

📅 Please note: We only process orders Monday to Friday.

🐕 Every Scoff Paper card is proudly made in the UK and carefully packaged before posting, so it reaches you fresh and ready for your four-legged friend to enjoy.


Followhound Dog Wall Art Print
Scoff Paper

Followhound Dog Wall Art Print

£14.00
/
Tax included. Shipping calculated at checkout.

Followhound – The Ideal Gift For People Who Haven’t Been Alone Since Getting A Dog

This wall print celebrates the canine shadow — the one who follows you from room to room, waits patiently outside closed doors, and considers personal space a deeply suspicious concept.

If you’re buying for someone who can’t make tea, go to the bathroom, or sit down without acquiring a companion, this gift will land immediately.

Perfect for:

  • Owners of clingy, loyal dogs

  • People who say “I’ll just pop upstairs” and return with a dog

  • Dog lovers who haven’t walked anywhere alone in years

  • Birthdays, housewarmings, and thoughtful “this is absolutely your dog” gifts

Designed to work beautifully in hallways, offices, kitchens or anywhere the dog already insists on standing directly behind someone’s legs.

Part of the Defined Dogs collection — a growing range of humour prints celebrating the affectionate, inconvenient and oddly comforting realities of living with dogs.

Warning: may result in the owner realising their dog is currently standing behind them.

 

Crunchy facts about our edible cards

Ever wondered what makes a Scoff Paper card safe for dogs to munch? Spoiler: it’s not glitter or glue. Our edible dog cards are made mostly from good old potatoes, with a splash of water, natural vegan flavourings, and a drizzle of sunflower oil. That’s it. No rawhide, no nasties — just a light, crunchy treat disguised as a greeting card.

🥔 Ingredients

  • 🥔 85% potato starch (about a fifth of a spud in every card)

  • 💧 A splash of water

  • 🌈 Food-safe vegan colourings

  • 🌱 Plant-based natural flavourings (vegan)

  • 🌻 A drizzle of sunflower oil

📊 Nutritional Bits

  • 🌱 100% vegan-friendly

  • 🚫 Gluten-free

  • 🚫 Grain-free

  • 🚫 Wheat-free

  • 🚫 Rawhide-free (because rawhide is rubbish)

That’s the science bit done — let’s get back to the scoffing.

 

📦 UK Deliveries
All Scoff Paper website orders are shipped with Royal Mail.

⏱️ We aim to get your order to you within 3–5 working days, but please note delays may occur during busy times such as Christmas.

📅 Please note: We only process orders Monday to Friday.

🐕 Every Scoff Paper card is proudly made in the UK and carefully packaged before posting, so it reaches you fresh and ready for your four-legged friend to enjoy.


Yawnarchist Dog Wall Art Print
Scoff Paper

Yawnarchist Dog Wall Art Print

£14.00
/
Tax included. Shipping calculated at checkout.

Yawnarchist – The Ideal Gift For Dogs Who Are Tired Of Absolutely Everything

Some dogs get tired after exercising.
Others get tired after not exercising.

Yawnarchist is for those dogs.

This wall print celebrates the canine who performs long, dramatic yawns after minimal effort. The kind of dog who sighs heavily, stretches like they’ve completed a marathon, then immediately lies back down to recover.

If you’re buying for someone whose dog treats short walks, brief standing, or mild excitement as physically exhausting events, this gift will feel painfully accurate.

Perfect for:

  • Owners of famously lazy dogs

  • Homes with professional nappers

  • People who regularly hear exaggerated sighing

  • Birthdays, housewarmings and “this is exactly your dog” gifts

Designed to sit comfortably in bedrooms, living rooms, offices or anywhere naps frequently occur.

Part of the Defined Dogs collection — a series of humour prints celebrating the wonderfully unproductive, overly dramatic realities of living with dogs.

Warning: may result in the owner immediately looking at their dog… who will probably be asleep.

 

Crunchy facts about our edible cards

Ever wondered what makes a Scoff Paper card safe for dogs to munch? Spoiler: it’s not glitter or glue. Our edible dog cards are made mostly from good old potatoes, with a splash of water, natural vegan flavourings, and a drizzle of sunflower oil. That’s it. No rawhide, no nasties — just a light, crunchy treat disguised as a greeting card.

🥔 Ingredients

  • 🥔 85% potato starch (about a fifth of a spud in every card)

  • 💧 A splash of water

  • 🌈 Food-safe vegan colourings

  • 🌱 Plant-based natural flavourings (vegan)

  • 🌻 A drizzle of sunflower oil

📊 Nutritional Bits

  • 🌱 100% vegan-friendly

  • 🚫 Gluten-free

  • 🚫 Grain-free

  • 🚫 Wheat-free

  • 🚫 Rawhide-free (because rawhide is rubbish)

That’s the science bit done — let’s get back to the scoffing.

 

📦 UK Deliveries
All Scoff Paper website orders are shipped with Royal Mail.

⏱️ We aim to get your order to you within 3–5 working days, but please note delays may occur during busy times such as Christmas.

📅 Please note: We only process orders Monday to Friday.

🐕 Every Scoff Paper card is proudly made in the UK and carefully packaged before posting, so it reaches you fresh and ready for your four-legged friend to enjoy.


Mufflegust Dog Wall Art Print
Scoff Paper

Mufflegust Dog Wall Art Print

£14.00
/
Tax included. Shipping calculated at checkout.

Mufflegust – The Ideal Gift For Homes With “Silent But Deadly” Residents

This wall print celebrates the canine responsible for sudden, unexplained room evacuations. The kind of dog who releases something unholy, maintains full eye contact, and carries on as if nothing has happened.

If you’re buying for someone who has ever paused a film and opened three windows, this gift will feel painfully accurate.

Perfect for:

  • Owners of mysteriously gassy dogs

  • People who light candles “just in case”

  • Homes with suspicious evening atmospheres

  • Birthdays, housewarmings and gifts that cause immediate laughter

Designed to sit comfortably in living rooms, kitchens, offices or anywhere the event is most likely to occur.

Part of the Defined Dogs collection — a series of humour prints celebrating the strange, inconvenient and deeply aromatic realities of living with dogs.

Warning: may result in the owner immediately telling you about the worst one they’ve ever experienced.

 

Crunchy facts about our edible cards

Ever wondered what makes a Scoff Paper card safe for dogs to munch? Spoiler: it’s not glitter or glue. Our edible dog cards are made mostly from good old potatoes, with a splash of water, natural vegan flavourings, and a drizzle of sunflower oil. That’s it. No rawhide, no nasties — just a light, crunchy treat disguised as a greeting card.

🥔 Ingredients

  • 🥔 85% potato starch (about a fifth of a spud in every card)

  • 💧 A splash of water

  • 🌈 Food-safe vegan colourings

  • 🌱 Plant-based natural flavourings (vegan)

  • 🌻 A drizzle of sunflower oil

📊 Nutritional Bits

  • 🌱 100% vegan-friendly

  • 🚫 Gluten-free

  • 🚫 Grain-free

  • 🚫 Wheat-free

  • 🚫 Rawhide-free (because rawhide is rubbish)

That’s the science bit done — let’s get back to the scoffing.

 

📦 UK Deliveries
All Scoff Paper website orders are shipped with Royal Mail.

⏱️ We aim to get your order to you within 3–5 working days, but please note delays may occur during busy times such as Christmas.

📅 Please note: We only process orders Monday to Friday.

🐕 Every Scoff Paper card is proudly made in the UK and carefully packaged before posting, so it reaches you fresh and ready for your four-legged friend to enjoy.


Yapoleon Dog Wall Art Print
Scoff Paper

Yapoleon Dog Wall Art Print

£14.00
/
Tax included. Shipping calculated at checkout.

Yapoleon – The Ideal Gift For Small Dogs With Big Leadership Energy

Some dogs understand their size.
Others absolutely refuse to accept it.

Yapoleon is for those dogs.

This wall print celebrates the small-but-mighty canine who believes they are personally responsible for neighbourhood security. The one who barks at dogs twice their size, patrols windows like a military operation, and carries themselves with the confidence of a general.

If you’re buying for someone whose tiny dog runs their household through volume and attitude alone, this gift will land immediately.

Perfect for:

  • Owners of loud, fearless small dogs

  • People whose dog believes they’re in charge

  • Homes where “he thinks he’s massive” is said daily

  • Birthdays, housewarmings and “this is painfully accurate” gifts

Designed to sit comfortably in living rooms, offices, hallways or anywhere the dog regularly conducts security checks.

Part of the Defined Dogs collection — a series of humour prints celebrating the bold, delusional and wildly confident personalities dogs bring into our homes.

 

Crunchy facts about our edible cards

Ever wondered what makes a Scoff Paper card safe for dogs to munch? Spoiler: it’s not glitter or glue. Our edible dog cards are made mostly from good old potatoes, with a splash of water, natural vegan flavourings, and a drizzle of sunflower oil. That’s it. No rawhide, no nasties — just a light, crunchy treat disguised as a greeting card.

🥔 Ingredients

  • 🥔 85% potato starch (about a fifth of a spud in every card)

  • 💧 A splash of water

  • 🌈 Food-safe vegan colourings

  • 🌱 Plant-based natural flavourings (vegan)

  • 🌻 A drizzle of sunflower oil

📊 Nutritional Bits

  • 🌱 100% vegan-friendly

  • 🚫 Gluten-free

  • 🚫 Grain-free

  • 🚫 Wheat-free

  • 🚫 Rawhide-free (because rawhide is rubbish)

That’s the science bit done — let’s get back to the scoffing.

 

📦 UK Deliveries
All Scoff Paper website orders are shipped with Royal Mail.

⏱️ We aim to get your order to you within 3–5 working days, but please note delays may occur during busy times such as Christmas.

📅 Please note: We only process orders Monday to Friday.

🐕 Every Scoff Paper card is proudly made in the UK and carefully packaged before posting, so it reaches you fresh and ready for your four-legged friend to enjoy.


Bedspreadian Dog Wall Art Print
Scoff Paper

Bedspreadian Dog Wall Art Print

£14.00
/
Tax included. Shipping calculated at checkout.

Bedspreadian – The Ideal Gift For People Who No Longer Control Their Own Bedding

Some people sleep in beds.
Others negotiate nightly territory agreements with a dog.

Bedspreadian is for those people.

This wall print celebrates the canine expert in duvet domination — the dog who manages to be under the covers, on the covers, beside the covers, and somehow wrapped inside them… all at the same time.

If you’re buying for someone who wakes up clinging to six inches of blanket while their dog enjoys the remaining ninety-four percent, this gift will feel uncomfortably accurate.

Perfect for:

  • Dog owners who “share” a bed (against their will)

  • People who wake up in strange positions

  • Housewarming gifts for pet homes

  • Birthdays, Christmas, and relationship-saving humour purchases

Designed to sit happily in bedrooms, hallways, living spaces or anywhere the dog regularly claims blankets or duvets as personal property.

Part of the Defined Dogs collection — a growing range of humour prints dedicated to the everyday realities of loving a dog while quietly losing control of your household.

Warning: may result in the owner immediately telling you how their dog somehow takes up more space than a human adult.

 

Crunchy facts about our edible cards

Ever wondered what makes a Scoff Paper card safe for dogs to munch? Spoiler: it’s not glitter or glue. Our edible dog cards are made mostly from good old potatoes, with a splash of water, natural vegan flavourings, and a drizzle of sunflower oil. That’s it. No rawhide, no nasties — just a light, crunchy treat disguised as a greeting card.

🥔 Ingredients

  • 🥔 85% potato starch (about a fifth of a spud in every card)

  • 💧 A splash of water

  • 🌈 Food-safe vegan colourings

  • 🌱 Plant-based natural flavourings (vegan)

  • 🌻 A drizzle of sunflower oil

📊 Nutritional Bits

  • 🌱 100% vegan-friendly

  • 🚫 Gluten-free

  • 🚫 Grain-free

  • 🚫 Wheat-free

  • 🚫 Rawhide-free (because rawhide is rubbish)

That’s the science bit done — let’s get back to the scoffing.

 

📦 UK Deliveries
All Scoff Paper website orders are shipped with Royal Mail.

⏱️ We aim to get your order to you within 3–5 working days, but please note delays may occur during busy times such as Christmas.

📅 Please note: We only process orders Monday to Friday.

🐕 Every Scoff Paper card is proudly made in the UK and carefully packaged before posting, so it reaches you fresh and ready for your four-legged friend to enjoy.


Slobbernaut Dog Wall Art Print
Scoff Paper

Slobbernaut Dog Wall Art Print

£14.00
/
Tax included. Shipping calculated at checkout.

Slobbernaut – The Ideal Gift For People Whose Dog Is 90% drool

This wall print celebrates the legendary slobber producers — the ones who leave mysterious wet patches on sofas, carpets, walls - some have even managed to splatter the odd ceiling. 

If you’re buying for someone who owns at least one permanently moist pooch, this is the kind of gift that gets an immediate laugh and a very aggressive nod of agreement.

It’s especially good for:

  • Big-mouth breed owners (Big-mouthed dogs, that is)

  • New dog owners who weren’t warned

  • Housewarming gifts for pet homes

  • Birthdays, “saw this and thought of you” moments, and mild passive-aggressive gifting

Designed to sit happily in kitchens, hallways, offices or anywhere visitors will immediately understand the situation.

Part of the Defined Dogs collection — a growing range of painfully accurate dog definitions made for people who love their dogs… despite everything.

Chances are, once it’s on the wall, the owner will start explaining exactly how accurate it is. Repeatedly.

 

Crunchy facts about our edible cards

Ever wondered what makes a Scoff Paper card safe for dogs to munch? Spoiler: it’s not glitter or glue. Our edible dog cards are made mostly from good old potatoes, with a splash of water, natural vegan flavourings, and a drizzle of sunflower oil. That’s it. No rawhide, no nasties — just a light, crunchy treat disguised as a greeting card.

🥔 Ingredients

  • 🥔 85% potato starch (about a fifth of a spud in every card)

  • 💧 A splash of water

  • 🌈 Food-safe vegan colourings

  • 🌱 Plant-based natural flavourings (vegan)

  • 🌻 A drizzle of sunflower oil

📊 Nutritional Bits

  • 🌱 100% vegan-friendly

  • 🚫 Gluten-free

  • 🚫 Grain-free

  • 🚫 Wheat-free

  • 🚫 Rawhide-free (because rawhide is rubbish)

That’s the science bit done — let’s get back to the scoffing.

 

📦 UK Deliveries
All Scoff Paper website orders are shipped with Royal Mail.

⏱️ We aim to get your order to you within 3–5 working days, but please note delays may occur during busy times such as Christmas.

📅 Please note: We only process orders Monday to Friday.

🐕 Every Scoff Paper card is proudly made in the UK and carefully packaged before posting, so it reaches you fresh and ready for your four-legged friend to enjoy.